Tips for Students on Recognizing and Assisting Fellow Students in Emotional Distress

 

Students Helping Students

University students typically encounter a great deal of stress (academic, social, financial) during the course of their educational experience. While most cope successfully with the demands of college life, for some the pressures become overwhelming and unmanageable.   For such students, an expression of interest and compassion by a fellow student may be a truly meaningful and helpful experience. Anyone who is caring and trustworthy may be a potential resource in time of distress.

This web page offers guidance in this process.

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Tips for Recognizing Troubled Students

The following may be important indicators of a student experiencing emotional distress.  Early assistance could prevent more serious circumstances.

Have their grades dropped?

  • excessive absences
  • not completing assignments
  • handing in poorly-done work
  • inability to concentrate
  • poor test scores
  • sleeping in class
  • sudden lack of participation in class
  • difficulty managing time efficiently

Have their relationships become stressed?

  • arguing with family, friends, teachers, employers
  • not keeping commitments
  • physically or emotionally abusive
  • isolating oneself/becoming withdrawn
  • eliciting frustration in others
  • roommate conflicts
  • jealous and possessive in interpersonal relationships
  • trying to control and dominate others

Are they suffering from many physical complaints?

  • headaches
  • stomach aches
  • shakiness
  • tense muscles
  • frequent illness
  • change in bowel and urination patterns
  • chest pains

Are they depressed?

  • crying a lot
  • experiencing mood swings; irritability
  • preoccupied; worried
  • feeling worthless/inferior
  • abusing alcohol and other drugs to change the way they feel
  • losing interest in activities or people they used to enjoy
  • difficulty making decisions
  • personal hygiene neglected
  • changing eating patterns; rapid weight loss/gain
  • changing sleeping patterns; sleeping too much or too little
  • speaking more slowly or rapidly than usual

Have there been suicidal thoughts?

  • is there a plan
  • has there been a previous attempts

Have they experienced a loss?

  • death of family member, friend, someone idolized/admired
  • break-up of a romantic relationship
  • loss of job
  • academic failure
  • separation from home
  • recently learned that someone loved has a serious illness

Have they just completed alcohol/drug treatment (this can be a stressful time for those early in recovery)?

Is there a pregnancy involved? Is it unplanned?

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What Can You Do?

Emergency Assistance

If you become aware of a student who needs emergency care, there are ways you can help.  Emergency situations include those in which a student’s behavior is imminently life-threatening (e.g. suicide attempt), and/or the student is behaving in such a bizarre and irrational manner that s/he is unable to care for oneself.

  • Listen and be supportive in nonjudgmental way.
  • Remain calm as possible.  Do not be shocked at what the person tells you.
  • Do not agree to keep your conversation confidential.
  • Treat disclosures respectfully and request assistance.
  • Let the troubled person know you are concerned - so concerned that you are willing to arrange help beyond that which you can offer.
  • Do not leave the person alone. Have someone stay with him/her while help is being contacted.

Emergency Resources for Students

UW-SP PROTECTIVE SERVICES
Telephone: 346-3456 Services: 24 hour transportation and/or protection

STEVENS POINT POLICE DEPARTMENT
Telephone: 346-1500 Emergency: 911 (a short pause with connection from campus phone) Services: 24-hour assessment, transportation and/or protection.

AMBULANCE
Telephone: 344-1833 Emergency: 911 (a short pause with connection from campus phone) Services: 24-hour transportation

EMERGENCY ROOM, ST. MICHAEL’S HOSPITAL
Telephone: 346-5100 Services: 24-hour emergency evaluation and treatment

Non-Emergency Situations

There are many ways to respond to a troubled student in a non-emergency situation. You may, for example, not want to become involved with the individual and communicate your expectation that the person be responsible for his/her behavior. In such situations, you may need to set personal limits and boundaries to protect your rights and autonomy. If however, you choose to approach or make yourself available to the person, here are some suggestions for keeping the relationship helpful and productive:

  • Talk in private when both of you have time and are not preoccupied. Give undivided attention and listen carefully. Just a few minutes of effective listening may help the person feel confident about what to do next.
  • Let the person know you are trying to understand his/her experience by identifying and reflecting his/her feelings.
  • Avoid judging, evaluating, or criticizing unless asked for your opinion. Such behavior may distance the person from you, and from getting needed help. Respect his/her value system, even if you don’t agree with it.
  • Explore coping skills of the person by asking such questions as:
  1. What has been done so far?
  2. What could be done?
  3. How were similar problems solved in the past?
  4. Who has s/he talked with?
  5. Who would s/he be willing to talk with now?
  • Don’t promise anything you can’t deliver (e.g. I’ll always he available to talk with you). A realistic and honest approach is most helpful in the long run.
  • Do not allow yourself to be sworn to secrecy. Circumstances may develop that necessitate disclosing what you have been told to prevent life threatening behavior (e.g. suicide attempt).

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When Referral is the Best Course of Action

Referral to helping professionals is the indicated course of action when you are unable, for any reason, to help the distressed person resolve his/her difficulties.

When a few frank, heart-to-heart discussions with someone fail to result in significant relief of their problems, referral to professional helpers should be considered.

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The Art of Making a Referral

Many people who could benefit from counseling are reluctant to seek help. They may have had an unsatisfactory prior experience with counseling, or they may be scared off by their fears that other people would view them as weak if they seek help. Your attitude and approach are very important.

  • There are many kinds of helping resources. These include self-help groups, clergy, coaches, community agencies, campus agencies (e.g. Counseling Center).  The best referral is one that the person responds to.
  • Although many people accept referrals easily, others feel rejected. The best policy is to be frank about limits of your ability to help – limits of time, energy, training, or objectivity. Assure them that you appreciate their willingness to talk with you and that you will support them fully in getting help.
  • When talking with someone about the pros and cons of getting help, have him/her consider what is likely to happen in the long run if their situation doesn’t change.
  • Don’t try to make a referral when you are extremely angry and upset with the individual. You are likely to come across as critical and punitive, as opposed to caring and concerned.
  • Help prepare the individual by sharing what you know about the referral person or agency he/she has chosen.
  • Ask the person how you can help the referral to work for them. This, for example, may range from informing the person of the existence of the Counseling Center to accompanying the individual on his/her initial visit.
  • If students are hesitant about making an appointment with a counselor, you might inform them of the Family Crisis Center (345-6511); a 24-hour phone and walk-in crisis counseling service. Trained counselors assist callers anonymously.

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First Contact at the Counseling Center

Students should make their own appointments, if possible. They can stop by the Center on the third floor of Delzell Hall or phone 346-3553. The Center is open 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM, Monday through Friday. The receptionist will make an appointment for the earliest available date. Students in emergency states can be seen the same day.

First-time clients fill out information forms before meeting with a counselor. By law, students’ contact with the Center is held in strict confidence.  

During the first appointment, the counselor works with the student to assess needs and develop an appropriate plan to help them with their difficulties. We offer consultation and short-term counseling.  If a student’s need is for longer-term, more ongoing treatment, we will assist him/her in locating appropriate service. Our service is free of charge and available to currently registered students.

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Additional Consultation

Staff members at the Counseling Center would be pleased to help you:

  1.  Learn about helping resources, both on and off campus, so you can suggest the most appropriate assistance.
  2. Clarify your own feelings about your attempts to assist a person and consider the ways you can be most effective.
  3. Find the best way to mmake a referral, if appropriate.

For consultation with the Counseling Center call 346-3553 or drop by to make an appointment..

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Non-Emergency Resources

For students expressing severe anxiety, depression, or other intense emotional disturbances, but no immediate harm seems likely:

UW-SP COUNSELING CENTER
Telephone: 346-3553
Services: 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM — emergency consultation, evaluation, treatment and referral

RESIDENCE LIFE PERSONNEL/UNIVERSITY HOUSING
Hall director or resident assistant

PORTAGE COUNTY HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES
TelTelephone: 345-5350
Services: 7:30 AM to 4:00 PM — evaluation and treatment

FAMILY CRISIS CENTER
Telephone: 345-6511
Services: 24-hour crisis counseling and referral

SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIM SERVICES
Telephone: 346-5100
Services: 24-hour crisis counseling and referral

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